1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. XXX Descriptive is good but you went way too far. I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» Descriptive is good but you went way too far. Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose.
