almost as hard to read as some of the stories posted here…Sorry, but my suggestions are still valid. X Video …lolanonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 12:41:29Overall, it has some potential. Agree with the thing to drop the background characters unless you plan to bring them into a teenage orgy in someone’s cabin.«12» And give the guy more “Alone-Time” with the girl.anonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 08:21:12Wow, really slow start! And I agree with the people who said to be less detailed about every movement on the ship, and every last detail about the people you meet. Fuck thisanonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 12:43:23Geez! And give the guy more “Alone-Time” with the girl.anonymous readerReport 2012-04-20 08:21:12Wow, really slow start! 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-08-21 01:31:51Do you think that you can finish it?anonymous readerReport 2012-08-10 10:18:17All they did was make out? And give the guy more “Alone-Time” with the girl.anonymous readerReport 2012-04-20
