Yes, a bit more detail also helps the reader understand what’s going on. 5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-03-10 20:05:14Are you all kidding me? XXX Video porn Don’t be afraid of expounding more.zanonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:47:41So overall it has some good potential. If you don’t like it them move onanonymous readerReport 2013-02-28 22:16:38I gave you a negative for this one. When did this become a lesson in writing and when did people that post on here have to be graded for their contributions? The second thing that could be improved is detail. A few area’s for improvement though. Instead of critisizing just read and move to the next story don’t bring a person down for having the guts to post here. Also watch what types you put on top, you only had a gang rape of males/ female.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-28 00:38:25Break-up your




















