11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2014-01-13 04:39:48really needs a rewrite and a good editing, your spelling needs work as does the plot. 11 comments«123»Anonymous readerReport 2014-01-13 04:39:48really needs a rewrite and a good editing, your spelling needs work as does the plot. XXX Video porn the best thing you can do is delete and rewrite it using a good editor or ghost writer and add an endding.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-26 11:56:14TYPICAL FOR THIS SITE IT NEEDS A TOTAL REWRITE USING A GOOD EDITOR WAY TO MANY STUPID ERRORS.anonymous readerReport 2011-06-13 02:08:03i rather liked it and would like to see a part 2 some day 8/10Anonymous readerReport 2008-12-19 10:21:06man that was pretty ood take suggestions, part 2 pleaseAnonymous readerReport 2008-12-18 01:34:37Agreed, slow down and spell check. like most have said this was super rushed and needs to be two or three times longer with motre build
