Next time spend a bit more time on the build up/background and maybe space out the story so its easier to read. Next time spend a bit more time on the build up/background and maybe space out the story so its easier to read. XXX Otherwise a very good effort :)«1» Otherwise a very good effort :)«1» Not bad not bad at all love itanonymous readerReport 2012-05-09 10:28:56Some excellent writing. 2 comments«1»jme69Report 2012-05-10 21:08:35A double enter when you write a paragraph will keep them seperated when you post. 2 comments«1»jme69Report 2012-05-10 21:08:35A double enter when you write a paragraph will keep them seperated when you post. Not bad not bad at all love itanonymous readerReport 2012-05-09 10:28:56Some excellent writing. Not bad not bad at all love itanonymous readerReport 2012-05-09 10:28:56Some excellent writing. 2 comments«1»jme69Report 2012-05-10 21:08:35A double enter when you

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