When I think back on it I feel like I was being weak, but then I remember how physically weak I really was, it was just a means of making it through and surviving a difficult situation. XXX I tried to talk to him, pleading, but he yanked my panties down to my knees with one motion. It made me feel ashamed, like somehow I must’ve secretly wanted it, and if I came forward to another relative, or a teacher they would think I was disgusting for having LIKED what was done to me, so I stayed quiet. I’d even watch sports on TV with him. When Jacob came home to visit I made myself look desirable, created situations where we were alone together, tempting him..
