I’m not bagging on you, I’m just saying you’ve got a lot to work on. X Video I find it hard to believe you would be satisfied with this story if you reread it yourself. No offense. No offense. 🙂 I liked it, it is rushed.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-29 14:32:38I really didn’t care for the ‘Rose’ character in this story. Also, proofread your stories. She’s way too full of herself. …and ‘Cum on my PRETTY face? . . …I gave it a thumbs down. …anonymous readerReport 2013-03-29 04:19:37I liked the story, however, as a writer, there are some things I want to point out for you to improve upon. Build up the story a lot more, create foreplay, make details, etc. Next, never write something cliche like `Enough about me`, especially when you have barely written a paragraph about the character.
